All Hopped Up

Spiritual Restoration: The Fix is In

Well Praise the Lord and pass the Cheez Whiz, deflocked-if-not-defrocked Pastor Ted Haggard is about to start the road to recovery. I guess for some folks that would mean admitting his long-standing homosexual desires--the ones that led him to champion virulent anti-gay legislation because to normalize it in the eyes of the law or society would mean he couldn't stay in his own secure and tormented world. He could recover from leading a life where he was forced to use crystal meth, an illegal, highly addictive, and dangerous drug to open himself up to the gay encounters with male prostitutes which his body and spirit told him were right but his upbringing condemned as sinful.

Uh, but that ain't the way its playing out. No, the Good Reverend is going through some hokey process detailed by a number of news outlets including Paula Zahn on last night's CNN broadcast. Zahn and the religion correspondent discussed this process and the graphic detailing it was attributed to the Busby Ministries, apparently the source of Pastor Ted's renewal. Cindy and Rick Busby, pictured above, have a website that mocks them better than I or anyone else ever could. Who is this crap written for? My guess is desperate people in South Carolina. But worse, how could CNN use them as a source on a major news program? It's like NPR citing AllHoppedUp for Chrissakes!

But I must admit, Cindy must have something going on. . . because my years in Texas taught me one thing about evangelicals--"The Bigger the Hair, The Closer to God." Oh, and by the way, Pastor Ted was used to only the best (what with that big mansion and loads of tithers and flying in private jets for frequent meetings with W in the White House), so his restoration might get kinda costly. So maybe you can help Cindy and Rick out by buying her inspirational tunes. They're right thinkin' and toe tappin'!