Tuesday, August 04, 2009
RIP. . . Reverend Ike
A bit of my childhood has passed to the great beyond. As a spry college student I spent many a late night/early morning engrossed by the Rev. Ike's ministry (he came on as I recall in the college-student friendly viewing slot of 2:00 a.m. on an obscure UHF channel).
The Reverend Ike truly defined the word shameless. As his NYT obit acknowledges, he was shamelessness personified, but all in the pursuit of greater glory.
"“Close your eyes and see green,” Reverend Ike would tell his 5,000 parishioners from a red-carpeted stage at the former Loew’s film palace on 175th Street in Washington Heights, the headquarters of his United Church Science of Living Institute. “Money up to your armpits, a roomful of money and there you are, just tossing around in it like a swimming pool.”"
I quickly got on the mailing list to receive his special prayer blessings, which included things like a string to tie around your finger which was to remind you (aside from the Reverend's intervention through Jesus to help you attain riches) to send a financial offering. This would, no doubt, grease the wheels with the Almighty while, only quite tangentially, mind you, line the Reverend's pockets.
In fact, all of the letters I got from The Rev. Ike had similar appeals, each cleverer than the next, culminating in the "Special Miracle Prayer Rug". This was in fact a piece of thick paper on which was a crudely rendered image of Jesus with really heavily lidded-over eyes. But crude as a marketing too it was not, I tell you. Why, it even had a 'lifelike' fringe edging and a carpet-backing pattern on the flip side (along with a note reminding you again that blessings would only be granted to those who ponied up some cash).
As I recall through the haze of years, the instructions were:
1. Place the "Special Miracle Prayer Rug" on your lap.
2. Meditate on the eyes of Jesus and see how they open and look directly into your eyes.
3. Pray for the things that you need Jesus' help with. . . money, relationships, job, a new home, a new automobile, curses, hexes and voodoo.
4. As you feel Jesus' power helping you through the "Special Miracle Prayer Rug" reach into your billfold and take out the largest bill, place it over Jesus' eyes, fold up the "Special Miracle Prayer Rug" with the offering and return it in the enclosed envelope (postage required) to Reverend Ike at . . .
Despite years of IRS hounding, The Reverend died, following a long illness which kept him from his ministry for years, a wealthy man in very comfortable surroundings.
Just as the Good Lord intended.
A bit of my childhood has passed to the great beyond. As a spry college student I spent many a late night/early morning engrossed by the Rev. Ike's ministry (he came on as I recall in the college-student friendly viewing slot of 2:00 a.m. on an obscure UHF channel).
The Reverend Ike truly defined the word shameless. As his NYT obit acknowledges, he was shamelessness personified, but all in the pursuit of greater glory.
"“Close your eyes and see green,” Reverend Ike would tell his 5,000 parishioners from a red-carpeted stage at the former Loew’s film palace on 175th Street in Washington Heights, the headquarters of his United Church Science of Living Institute. “Money up to your armpits, a roomful of money and there you are, just tossing around in it like a swimming pool.”"
I quickly got on the mailing list to receive his special prayer blessings, which included things like a string to tie around your finger which was to remind you (aside from the Reverend's intervention through Jesus to help you attain riches) to send a financial offering. This would, no doubt, grease the wheels with the Almighty while, only quite tangentially, mind you, line the Reverend's pockets.
In fact, all of the letters I got from The Rev. Ike had similar appeals, each cleverer than the next, culminating in the "Special Miracle Prayer Rug". This was in fact a piece of thick paper on which was a crudely rendered image of Jesus with really heavily lidded-over eyes. But crude as a marketing too it was not, I tell you. Why, it even had a 'lifelike' fringe edging and a carpet-backing pattern on the flip side (along with a note reminding you again that blessings would only be granted to those who ponied up some cash).
As I recall through the haze of years, the instructions were:
1. Place the "Special Miracle Prayer Rug" on your lap.
2. Meditate on the eyes of Jesus and see how they open and look directly into your eyes.
3. Pray for the things that you need Jesus' help with. . . money, relationships, job, a new home, a new automobile, curses, hexes and voodoo.
4. As you feel Jesus' power helping you through the "Special Miracle Prayer Rug" reach into your billfold and take out the largest bill, place it over Jesus' eyes, fold up the "Special Miracle Prayer Rug" with the offering and return it in the enclosed envelope (postage required) to Reverend Ike at . . .
Despite years of IRS hounding, The Reverend died, following a long illness which kept him from his ministry for years, a wealthy man in very comfortable surroundings.
Just as the Good Lord intended.
Comments:
Post a Comment
